August 26, 2013

A Child's First World Problem: "I have No Friends!"

I did not realize the full impact of our move until tonight when my daughter promptly but silently declared "I have no friends! I have no friends here..." walking away with tears falling from her eyes like waterfalls which she tried to hide from me. Her face painfully painted with sadness. I on the other hand, felt like a lightning struck me! Or someone punched me on the face or bonked me on the head. OUCH! My heart crumbled to pieces. My grand scheme backfired... I thought I was going to have a stroke.

Sigh. There goes my "best mom of the year award!" What the heck did I do this time?

Grand scheme gone wrong.
I heard children's voices outside my window and saw that my neighbor's children are out playing in our little cul-de-sac. I encouraged -- more like extracted -- my daughter to go out and introduce herself. The little urchin won't budge from the couch who was currently attached to her chrome book. So I reiterated myself like a broken record, blabbering at the top of my lungs like Dr. Who from the upstairs balcony until she finally lumbered outside. But only to find out that the kids were gone and back inside the comfort of their home. She was devastated.

At this point, not even the power of Tardis can save me. I was ready for the Daleks to exterminate me.

She did. Almost. My heart got pulverized.

What to do when your child have the "I have no friends" first world problems?

  • I regenerated to become her friend. -- I got good using the scooter.
  • I invoked my power of social prowess to seek out potential companion friends for her.
  • I tapped on the influence of others and asked to be introduced to families with children.
  • I pursued connections to connect her.
  • I gave her extra time on her technologies. -- better than watching her sulk.
  • I involved her in some back to school creative projects.
  • I race her on the scooter and called it "our daily workout".
  • I got her to do more stuffs with me like cooking, washing the dishes etc.
  • I arrange special breakfast on the deck with her. Coffee is involved. Shhh!
  • I declared a part of each day a "watch TV or Movie with Mama day!"
  • I give her unlimited access to our driveway to use as canvass for her chalk art.
  • We make her do more of her pre-back-to-school-lessons. Non-negotiable.

Better than nothing.

Moving is undeniably hard on all of us but mostly on our little urchins. They leave their friends, their comfort zones, the only home they've ever known, including all the memories they've had, but life happens as you know, 1st or 3rd world problems, we do what we can no matter how mundane it is, to make their new home...their new home. Even if it meant being exterminated by the Daleks!

And important note to self. Next time, I should just let her spend her time with her technology instead of bugging her to make friends with the neighborhood kids. Brilliant!

Like what her wise father said, "She'll make friends when she's ready". 

And I'm sure she will. In time she will...

P.S. -- Don't mind the quirkiness.
You might have been giving my post a blank stare on some of my quirky references to something alien. Well, yes, they're alien. Like the Daleks. These are all Dr. Who references and my family is a big fan!


  1. I have lived all my life in the same place and have had seasons of friends a plenty and seasons of friends of none. Hang in there. LOVE these tips.

    1. Thank you Elizabeth! Things are getting better. Back to school gave her the chance to resolve her 1st world problem and we do hope she find good friends in no time.


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