July 7, 2014

Parenthood: Reasons Why I Learned To Love My Child's Mess!

Got kids? Then you know it! Clutter, messy floor and the despicable messy room - they are the vain of your daily domestic existence! I get you. They're part of my "normal" for about 10 years now too. Never a fun moment there I tell you, but you know what? I just discovered an appreciation of all my unica iha's mess-es! I may have just fallen in love with them in a cuckoo, crazy, kind of way.

It all started with my daughter being on Summer Camp for a week. I thought, "Aaaah! What a relief!" A relief that washed over my entire being. Finally, a break. A break from motherhood. A break from all her "drive-me-crazy" mess. Period.

Can you relate?

I can vividly see relaxing days ahead of me. I'll be child-free for a week! Wouldn't that be nice?!

Yes, a week would be nice. "Ah! Peace and quiet!" My heart sang with happiness.

First, I need to tackle the abominable mess which I finished in no time. I was one proud mama.  

I stood in the middle of her clean and organized room and admired the "perfect" job I've done. "What an accomplishment. Well done Mama!" I uttered to myself with a self-approving nod.

Then it hit me! 

This clean room made me realized one eerie thing. My daughter is NOT here. 

It almost felt like Dr. Who came to visit me to show me my distant future. Time took a fast forward on me and took me to a parallel reality of having this clean room - but empty. Void of my daughter's presence.

I almost burst into tears! 

I swear, I'm not hormonal right now, eventhough I should say, it's that time of the month for me. You see, I only have one child. The reality of "when your only child leaves home, you're left with none" is an inevitable truth that I have to face.

This raw, emotionally-charged dilemma resembles a monster lurking in the dark waiting to pounce at any given point of time is something that parents of only one child will ever truly understand.

I'm certainly not one looking forward to becoming an instant empty nester!

Nor one to apologize for only having one child, no matter how much other people guilt me into having more, for the lack of having another child or for the inability thereof.

Nothing will change the fact that I only have one child! Period. This is why I found a higher level of appreciation for my only child's messes and drive-me-nuts habits. But don't get me wrong. A mess is still a mess!

I just saw a different perspective to this insane mess and here's why:

  • Messy bedroom - means she's home. It also gives me a chance to exercise my vocal chords and lungs - at her expense. Creative yelling anyone?
  • Dirty clothes on her floor - means she's home. In the flesh. Period.
  • Lights left lit in her bathroom - means she's home. And yet again, another opportunity to exercise my vocal chords and lungs. Hear me sing?
  • Cluttered desk - means she's home and honing her creative skills. Only in her own creatively messy way - unfortunately.

Though these are things that will normally drive me bonkers, it still does, the severity of my reaction has dramatically changed and reached a far more calmer level with an indescribable appreciation of them. 

Go ahead and imagine yourself in my shoes. A mother of one child. Factor in the reality of becoming an instant empty nester. How do you feel?

I say to you, from one mom to another mom, "There's more to life than wasting precious energy stressing over your child's mess."

Live a life unlimited. - Maricris


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