December 13, 2013

When Holiday Turns Into Grieving

It's one of those weird and ironic things that happens in life - death and holiday celebrations culminating at the same time - it simply isn't right. Not at all. And when you're at the receiving end of it, "tragic" wouldn't even begin to describe it. It also inevitably makes you question all intention to celebrate a supposedly joyful and thankful holiday. Holidays like Thanksgiving. Honestly, how does one find the inspiration to celebrate? Simple. You do not. And it's alright! Grieving is a process that makes no exemption even if it's the merriest of Holidays.

You just grieve. Period.

I watched as my brother-in-law hold back tears trying not to put a damper on a relatively nice day with us, family from out of town, who traveled 12 hours to be with him on a very unfortunate time.

"It's okay to cry." I told him. "Just cry. Let it all out!" 

I have been at the receiving end of a loss countless times now that I know what a good cry can do to ease a grieving heart.

I still cry.

Though the pain goes away, the loss never does and it still brings me to tears every time I remember those who I lost. A brother, a father, wound, they leave a scar in your heart and soul. Not as a reminder of the pain but a promise that you will not forget about them. They will always remain a part of you though they're no longer around for you to hug, kiss or talk to. Yet they remain.

You just don't forget.

This past week, amid the nasty Winter weather out East, we braved rainy, wet, snowy, snow-covered roads to be with my husband's side of the family.

My Mother-in-Law died on Thanksgiving.

She was buried first week of December. Holidays colliding.

I was asked time and time again, "how does one celebrate holidays with a painful loss?"

Simple. You don't!

And "yes, it's okay to cry..."

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry for your loss, friend. To lose someone on Thanksgiving Day is the most hurting irony of life. My grandmother died on that day, too, and worst of all it's my birthday. Got a sms from my bro saying, "Hi lene, happy birthday! But sorry to inform you but Lola died at 6am today". She was 94 and perhaps she missed our Lolo, who died last July, so much that she gave up, too. Somehow, I was grateful that she lived that long (for the sake of Thanksgiving). As for my birthday, I forgot what to thank for. :(


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