October 5, 2010

Sassiness - The 5-8 Year Old Phenomena

I was recently at a 4-day conference in Asheville NC where attendees were predominantly charged-up Estrogens, PMS'er and pre or post menopausals with a dash of brave testosterones on the side, who of course has one thing in common -besides being hormonal- Kids! Strangely though, it appeared that moms with 6 year old daughters like me has an uncanny similarity :  the case of Sassiness!

It made me wonder if this was a phenomena {or bad karma making us pay for how we treated our moms when were younger} that children evolve into at the turn of a particular age just like the Temper Tantrums  which is most common at the age of 2 or 3.  

Listening to the moms as they narrate their own stories, I've come to the conclusion that at the age of 6:
  • Girls mature faster than boys and with maturity invokes the power of independence.
  • They're smarter and have a better grasp of a situation which results in a game of power struggle.
  • They love to be in control and if they're not controlling the wheel, back talk ensues.
As with any bad situations, sassiness is an unacceptable trait and needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP. Arguments will be part of the process as I'm experiencing as of late, but our children needs to know who the parent is! If we don't do anything about it now, they'll trample all over us like wild lions out for a kill. Not good for us nor will it be for them.

Here is a link to an article that I found interesting : 4 Steps to Eliminate Back Talk or Sassiness.

Real Sassy Stories from Real Moms:
"My then 5 year old daughter was having a fight with her brother and she has a toy bat on her hand and poised to hit her older brother on the head. I reprimanded her and told her that she'll lose tv privileges for a week and I'll send her to her room if she do it. Instead of stopping, she placed her hands on her hips, looked at me and said unfazed, "It's all worth it!" hit her brother and walked to her room like nothing happened. " - Ruth Bawden, mom of two, future Psychologist, Charlotte NC
"My 11 year old daughter thinks she knows better and is constantly sassing back to me when I ask her to do something. If I ask her to put her backpack away, she'll say, "Duh! I'm busy right now. Can't you see?" (in a very sassy tone). If I ask her to clean her room, she'll say, "Why? i don't care if it's messy." If I remind her about something, her reply is often "duh!". she is a very responsible child outside the home but she's also in the beginning of puberty so the hormones are going crazy too." - Michelle McGraw of Scraps of My Geek Life
 Do you have a 6-year old or older? Do they exhibit the classic case of sassiness? How do you deal with it? 

Related Stories:
Child development: Middle Childhood {6-8 years old}
Behavior Makeover : Talking Back
Disciplining School Age Kids 


  1. Oh, my girls are definitely sassy! I find if I give them choices instead of ordering them, that it diffuses their sense of independence. For example, instead of "Wear this green jacket today, it's cold." I'll say, "Do you want the green jacket or the pink jacket?" If she ends up refusing the jacket, she gets the consequences of being cold!

  2. I love your blog! It was awesome meeting you on Type A Mom and I will be following you :) let's keep in touch! Love ya :)

  3. Well, you heard my sassy story above, so you know I have one, but I also have a sassy 6 year old. She talks just like her big sister. I'm totally outnumbered when it comes to sassines in this house so sometimes I just ignore it all and take a bath. LOL!

  4. i can attest that it does not get better when they get older. sassiness is called attitude in the teen years lol

  5. Yes, dealing with it in our household and it really depends on the day how it's handled. Sometimes I lose my cool.


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