A Mother's Hand giving Cancer the Middle Finger

One of the books my daughter and I love is "My Mommy's hands" notably because of the phrase "your hand is as warm as a biscuit!" of which became an instant favorite endearment quote between her and me.

Now what if these hands loses a finger? Will they still be as warm as a biscuit?

A couple of months ago, I noticed a faint brown line across my right middle fingernail. Nothing to be concerned about I thought. "I'm sure it will go away..."

No it did not.

 A little alarmed and moreso out of curiosity, I went to the only source of information I knew would give me some sort of answer : internet. I was blown away by what I found. My heart sank at the bottom of the sea.

Melanoma under the fingernail? Cancer? I can lose a finger? And of all finger, why my middle finger?! Seriously! But yes, I was shaken and was in shock. Now I know how it feels when someone hears they have cancer. Mine isn't even confirmed yet but the mere thought of possibly having one was already so very shocking. Frack you cancer! 

I was depressed but I can't dwell on it until I get checked up. There must be a better explanation for this, I convinced myself. I immediately made an appointment with a dermatologist who specializes on nails. Only person who can give me an answer. AND one I needed to hear - which will be in a month... Agonizing.

That appointment finally came today. I was thoroughly checked. I flashed my middle finger at my doctor and it was OK! You don't get to do that everyday. And the much awaited diagnosis? Everything was good. My symptom was akin to a typical characteristic of Melanoma but according to my doctor "there is nothing to worry about. It's all good!" Though there's a caveat. I have to watch my finger closely for any drastic changes. I don't like it but I'm fine with the result now. My hands will still be as warm as a biscuit afterall...

A sigh of relief. A tinge of happiness. A release from within.

My Mommy hands
photo taken by my daughter

So what did I have? I have a mole right underneath the skin of my fingernail which is being pushed out by the nail and "staining" the nail. Same physical attribute atypical to nail melanoma.

 Lesson I've learned: Sun exposure is NOT the only leading cause of skin cancer. Gotta watch out for these little moles too! Please do me a favor and check your nails and moles right now and if in doubt, see a dermatologist right away. As what my doctor said "there's nothing to worry about but I'm glad you came to have it checked! " - early prevention always is the key...

So why my middle finger? I think it's my 007 license! License to stick it out to someone without being killed after! And now will you join me in saying:  Frack you Cancer!