7 Things No One Told Me About Motherhood and More!

Whenever I see a mom with 3 or 5 or even {God help her} 6 children in tow and they're ganging up on her like a wild herd on a rampage, in public spaces no less, my head would literally go spinning to no end. I grew up in a big family and seeing this fucked-up poor mom reminds me of how crazy it had been for my mom! We were good kids {believe it or not}, all six of us, but we were also KIDS -- so heck yeah, we drove her ape shit insane!

I remember whenever my mom gets exasperated with me, she'll always scream something like "Wait until you become a mom yourself. By then, you'd paid me your debt in full!" and I would be like "yeah mom, whatevever". I seriously have no clue what she meant. If I only knew then, I would have bitch-slapped myself crazy for even uttering one word in defiance to her riddle!

Then I became -- a mom! Oh boy. The cursed riddle have unraveled itself.  I think my mom purposely did not give me any clue as to what it's like to be a mom as some sort of revenge! I also want to think there was some conspiracy going on between my mom friends to stay mum and let me find it out for myself. Kill-joys!

But wha-evah. I've paid my debts in full - apparently. But still, here are the top 7 things I wish someone told me about Motherhood before I became a mom:

1. Sleep is a thing of the past. - Who needs sleep anyway?
2. Potty training is a crappy (no pun intended) undertaking.  - Keyword: Wet wipes and clorox.
3. Breastfeeding is good for the baby but not for your breast. - Bite Mark tattoos and saggy breasts anyone? Blasted Milk! And to think I'm lactose-intolerant.
4. Showering becomes a luxury. - Greasy hair is the new "do".
5. Your body mimics a shape of a food. - When did Muffin top become a body part?
6. Screaming on top of your lungs becomes your new talent. - You might be worthy for The Voice or American Idol even before you know it!
7. Glorified slave becomes your permanent job.  - Enough said.

And more:

• "Exhaustion continues wayyyyy past infancy." - Beth, Hip Mama B
• "There is no one right way to parent, each child is different." -Jessica, The B Keeps Us Honest
• "To document all the funny things they say. Otherwise you WILL forget them." - Jessica, Found The Marbles
• "Terrible Twos" is a lie. "Terrible 2-18" would be more accurate." - Jennifer, The Rebel Chick
• "That I would be fine after they left." - Molly, Molly Campbell
• "That you could go from wanting to wring their neck to kissing and squeezing on them in two seconds flat." - Erin, A Parenting Production
• "That it is the most difficult yet rewarding job you will ever have." - Hillary, My Scraps
• "No matter how tired you've ever been, and no matter how you prepare. There's no way to prepare for the lack of sleep that comes with a new baby. Just forgive yourself now for all you cannot accomplish when you're sleep deprived." - Candice, Fashionably Organized
• "I wish I'd known to pinch those little baby cheeks more. I didn't properly enjoy my first baby. Too nervous, I guess." - Cindy, Get Along Home
• "Along the same lines, relax and enjoy it more. I definitely sweated the small stuff because I thought it was big stuff." - Fadra, Social Dialect
• "I wish I had sat down and calculated whether it was worth it to be a WAHM with my first two children. I worked long hours with barely any childcare mostly relying on naps. I'm not convinced that my monetary contributions to the family were worth the time I lost with the kids. With #3, I was a SAHM." - Jill, Musings From Me

In retrospect, No matter how crazy Motherhood is, no one can argue that it is a blessing! The ability to create mini-mes {and mini-monsters, depending on the day} is beyond any talent or skills. Just ask my mom! On second thought. Don't!