January 3, 2012

Thinking Out Loud: I'm An Odd Mom! {but in a good way...}

So I say (nothing to do with me being Asian but you'll know in a minute). Now, while every other parents I know is cheering, celebrating even, that their children is going back to school (mine went back Monday) and can finally reclaim some moments of child-free days and their sanity, I, on the other hand is feeling gloomy! See, I told you, I'm odd. Not even kind of. Just odd. But this is not without a valid reason of course. Odd don't just happen. So, I heard.

Let's go back to where this (my) oddness started. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I worked up to the week prior to my due date. I valued each day that I could work. If I work, it equals to money. Tough times. I'm sure you can all relate to that! Then, she was finally born. Spending two years home with her was precious, but the NEED to go back to work was pretty compelling. I told you, tough times. Tough decisions.

I worked outside of the home which means away from my baby each day. I struggled through the years feeling remorse at missing precious times with my growing child and guilt when I can't stay home when she's sick and pining for me to stay home with her. Tough times. But that all recently changed. I've quit my day job (but that's a whole different story) and gave me the chance to stay home and work from home.

I loved it! Though ecstatic may not be the right word to describe it! Heck! I never thought transitioning back to being at home all day would take some major adjustments. But I survived. And I'm presently loving the idea that I can be home and spend more time with my child --- BUT ---- she now goes to school during the day! Doesn't this look like the tables been turned? Against me unfortunately. See the irony here? I'm home. She's not.

I pine for those days gone and I seriously enjoyed the recent holiday vacation with her. We had quite some fun together, little squabbles included of course, it won't be perfect without it, but nonetheless fun. Now she's back to school... I do miss my baby.

It feels odd. I feel odd. I'm odd. Are you as odd as I? Or is it simply odd that I FEEL odd? 


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