Bad Breath

Bad Breath?! I know, I know. You're probably saying this woman is nuts and has nothing better to talk about. Nuts, I am , yes and proud of it matter of factly.

Is there a point to this story, yes I will get to it, hold on to yar britches.

I know everyone's got bad breath! I'm not ashame to admit that I have it. I'm sure you have it. Unless, you have a condition called halitosis (say: hal-uh-toe-sis) then please say no more and cover your mouth or chew some gum when you talk to me.

Alright, alright, I'm getting to the point.

Well, you see I work in an environment where I ocassionally mingle, for the love of me, with REAL PEOPLE - yes, I do too - on a need to basis. I'm safer this way, if you get my drift. Now I was told NOT to talk about my job when blogging but this one is an exception, I promise I'm not going to diss anyone except this one person, only because he is not my co-worker and ONLY because he always blow me away with his bad breath! His name is Joey rhymes with ewwweyyy.

I MEAN REALLY.

If you've got bad breath, how can you not know? If I was a cat, I would have exhausted all my nine lives with this one guy. And today, I almost died again! Joey needed something and came to see me. As soon as he opened his mouth, I knew I was gonna get it! The Poo pit! God, IT SMELLED LIKE HELL! And his breath travels like 1000 horse powered industrial fan!

I CAN JUST SEE HEADS ROLLING. ALL MINE!

I tell you, if I get more doses of his halitosis, I will end up in lalaland or inside a wooden box! I'm such a good girl in all this, I'm sure I'll go to heaven. BUT I DON'T WANT TO DIE YET!

Now Excuse me but I have to wash my nose. His stinkin' odor is stuck inside my nostrils. I can still smell it and he's already gone. AND when I get home, I'll have me a mega shower. I've been skunked!

Wish you were here to experience this with me. I sure need a pal to die with me next time. I've got cookies and tea. And NO don' tell me to wear a mask. It didn't work last time!

And what's the point to this story? Well, that bad breath is BAD BREATH and it can kill just like underarm odor! AND No, I'm NOT going to talk about that now. So much stink for one day!


Story by Maricris
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8 ZENSIBLE OPINIONS:

  1. Ha ha! You are just SO funny! I needed a good laugh this early in the morning. Thanks! :)
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  2. Oh man! Bad breath....ewwww! It's hard to not offer a piece of gum or mint without someone getting offended that you think their breath stinks.
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  3. I have a good friend who is like that...and my husband, of course I can tell him...

    Try keeping mints in your pocket, and when he approaches, pull one out, and offer him one!!
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  4. LOL Maybe offer him some gum next time he comes to see you...or listerine??
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  5. Bad breath is one of my biggest fears! I pray someone would tell me if I had issues.
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  6. haha!!! Poor you, but that was funny. I used to work with a woman who had really bad body odor (and not just pits... like stale, nasty, unwashed stinky stench). She was pregnant at the time and all of us in the office felt bad for her ob... you can guess why.
    As for Mr Stinky breath... maybe you could grab a mint next time he comes in and offer him one at the same time.
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  7. oh no! That's horrible. In these situations I always take out a pack of gum, and offer one to the "offender". Sometimes though, they don't take the hint.
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  8. it's hard to not offer a piece of gum or mint without someone getting offended that you think their breath stinks.
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